Monday, December 21, 2020

What if they had a war, and a rugby game broke out?

A Headless Body Production

Answer: Probably more blood letting.
Location: An Undisclosed Living Room
Event: Monday, Oct 29th.
Players: Phil Gardocki, playing the Anglo Irish 
              John Doe, playing Medieval Irish
Game System: L'Art de la Guerre, 200 points per side.

The Forces:
The gleeking rump-fed mildewed-eared Anglo Irish, circa 1299 AD
Larry (Competent), his brother Darryl (Competent) and his other brother Darryl (also Competent)
4 Longbowmen, stakes
2 Javelinmen
4 Galloglaich, Heavy Swordsmen, 2HW, Elite
2 Irish Lairds, Heavy Swordsmen, Armor, Elite
5 Kerns, Light Infantry, Javelins
4 Irish Nobles, Heavy Cavalry
2 Irish Cavalry, Light Cavalry, Javelins
Breakpoint of 23
For the Medieval Irish, 3 unnamed commanders, all competent.
8 Javelinmen
8 Galloglaich, Heavy Swordsmen, 2HW
7 Kerns, Light Infantry, Javelins
1 Irish Nobles, Heavy Cavalry, Impetuous, elite
4 Irish Cavalry, Light Cavalry, Javelins
Breakpoint 28
The Scenario:
It all started with Farmer O'Brian's boundary stones. Which seemed to have been moving about 6 paces a fortnight. Well enough is enough with Bessie's pasture reduced to a tithe of its former size, and it was obvious who the villain was. So a moot was called to settle the issue. Of course you can't have a moot without an inter village rugby game. So the teams were called, and at the first scrum McGooruough called "Skawmish!", those lying thieving bastards have 42 men on their side, to which Sheamus replied, "Tis true"! "But our team is by weight not volume, and some settling has occurred!" And then Kenneth Brannach said something about our little Cindy, which 8 months later turned out to be true, and that got the blood up, and with the happenings with their pin boy Cork, getting so drunk at the 9 pin finals he couldn't stand himself up much less the pins. Twice he fell over taking the pins with him and his team counting it as a strike. And only 8 years old! Well that was too much.
And the Anna Livia, when the old cheb went futt and did what you know. Yes, I know, it was they threed to make out he thried to two in the Fiendish park. He's an awful old reppe. Look at the shirt of him! Look at the dirt of it! He has all my water black on me. And it steeping and stuping since this time last wik. Minxing marrage and making loof. Reeve Gootch was right and Reeve Drughad was sinistrous! And the cut of him! And the strut of him! How he used to hold his head as high as a howeth, the famous eld duke alien, with a hump of grandeur on him like a walking wiesel rat.*

And with that, the battle lines were drawn. 
The Board:

Larry wins the coin toss and elects to receive in the plains. He selects 2 fields, a fielded hill and a gully. The absolutely medieval Irish select a field and a plantation.


The terrain is thicker than something that is very thick.

Most of the Medieval Irish Foot is positioned to the left of a gully. 8 clans o' Galloglaich supported by 8 units of Javelinmen. Enough troops to handle both open areas and the rough.

But wait, there's more? At 20 units, this army is a bit short. Could they all be in ambush? 

 Turn 1:

The Medievals march straight ahead. Not subtle at all. But they outnumber the Anglo-Irish 8-6 in heavy foot, 8-6 in rough terrain troops, so subtly is not required.

The missing command rolls a 6, a flank march is running on the Anglo-Irish Left.

Darryl has his brown pants moment. Rolls a 1 for command points. So reveals his kerns in ambush to face the flank march.

Larry (center command) is ok with the situation, and is awaiting development on the right.

The other brother Darryl, carefully adjusts his foot commands and sends his mounted noblemen to run off the Medievals lights. 

Turn 2:

The flank march arrives.  It is large, but all lights. 

The vast line of foot splits in twain!  Half to provide the anvil for the flank march's hammer, half to swarm Darryls smaller, and more separated command on the right.

On the left, Darryl orders his light horse to disengage, and position his Longbow to shoot enfilade, should the flank march decide to bypass him.  His noble horsemen charge, then pull up short.

Larry sees the opportunity to defeat the Medievals in detail.  His heavy foot marches forward to 4UD's.

On the right, Darryl's noble horsemen destroy a unit of Irish Javelinmen. A charge by light horse on disordered Kerns begets another hit.

Turn 3:

On the left, crafty charges run both of Darryl's light units off of the board.

 In the center, the Medieval commander accepts Larry's challenge, and marches 4 Galloglaich clans to charge reach, his Javelinmen positioning for flank charges.   

On the right, Darryl's exuberance may prove his undoing.   After uselessly loosing a volley of arrows, his longbowmen are engaged.  On takes two hits, but the other rolls well and returns two hits.

The Score is Anglo-Irish 3 (of 23), Medieval Irish 4 (of 28)

Lethal missiles fall from the sky, disordering units on both sides.  But scrums begin to form in the center, the Medievals losing 3 of 3.  On the right, Irish Nobles run off 2 Kerns.  Javelinmen are destroyed

On the right, Irish Nobles run off 2 Kerns. 2 more Medieval Javelinmen are destroyed, trading fornan Anglo Longbowmen.

The Score is Anglo-Irish 5 (of 23), Medieval Irish 12 (of 28)

Turn 4: 

I missed a copy paste for the top of the turn, so this image is for both.  Arrows show moves made either the top of the turn, with a 3, and bottom of the turn 4.  I should have thought of a more intuitive annotation.

From the left to right.  Medieval Irish Kerns swarm the flank guards, destroying 2 Longbowmen and the Irish Lairds(HI, Armor, Sword, Elite)  The flank charging Medieval Irish Javelinmen are in turn flank charged by Darryl's noble horsemen.

In the center Anglo-Irish Galloglaich clan Ramsay and O'Lyre destroy the opposing Galloglaich clans Gutless an' Rin Awa'.  

Right of center, the Medieval Galloglaich clans split in twain to face the undefeated longbow and light horse, only to be routed through then surrounded by Anglo-Irish Noble horse, Irish lairds and Galloglaich Clan Jordan.

It was getting late and we called it here with the final score  Anglo-Irish 10 (of 23), Medieval Irish 21 (of 28)


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