Monday, March 16, 2026

Castle Defense Fantasy Battle

A Headless Body Production 
Venue: Covenant United Methodist Church
Event: Games Day
Game Master: Bob Darretta
Players on the Side of Goodness and Light (Yeah!!!): Dave Peterson, Russ Orr
Players on the side of villainry and evil (booo!!!):Dave Peterson Phil Gardocki
Game System: Home brew

The Forces 

The forces of villainry and evil (booo!!!) are a mix of goblins, black knights, giants, trolls elephants, spider and squib riders and reanimated things.  Their equipment for a siege is a bit lacking consisting of a single siege tower and a couple of ladder teams. 

The forces of Goodness and Light (Yeah!!!) are a mix of humans and dwarves.  Well equipped with artillery and muskets, 

Display Conventions: When you see a word bubble like "Ouch!" or "bugger!" this implies a disorder from missiles. 

Inappropriately capitalized words are used to highlight terms that are specific to the game. For example Brilliant, Competent and Ordinary have specific game values for the commanders.

"XX" implies a unit killed in that location on that turn.

Any vagueness or inaccuracies in the descriptions is to be considered is to be considered Fog of War, and is to be considered part of the fun.

This was a perfect "con" game.  Why? 


Just one page of rules!  With 1" margins and suitably sized font!
 
The Board:
The sun shines upon the castle of goodness and light.


As part of the castle defenses, the Dwarfs have donated their hybrid steam/mechanical powered mobile mortar machine.

Against it, the villains have camouflaged an elephant to act as a battering ram.
 
"Yeah, you blend."
Running escort for the Elephant are exquisitely well painted Spider Riders, and Goblins on Squigs. 
I don't know what Squigs are, but my son described them as two legged mouths.
For the approach to the castle, there is a wooded, and muddy road.  Ladder-men, described as "Slaves of Darkness", march next to the elephant.

On the left are evil knights.  The Squigs and Spiders are on the right.
Each unit rolls 1 to 3 D6 for movement in inches.


Pikemen defend the barricade.  A unit of dwarfs form up on the woods edge singing a joyful song.

On the other side of the table, a siege tower is pushed forward by a huge troll.

The castle defenders plan to deploy forward against the tower.
Turn 2:
Villainous knights ooze through the woods.
The reason for the dispersed structure are mortars on the castle towers, which have area of effect weaponry.
The elephant slogs through the muddy road.  
The Slaves of Darkness trot at speed with their scaling ladders.
The Squigs keep up their skirmishing formation, or lack thereof.  The Spider riders form up to assault the Dwarf line.

The Dwarf defenders break out in another verse!

After taking a round of mortar fire, the red demons of chaos charge!  But there are two cannons on the machine, with gunners standing by.

The tower stops at the bottom of the bridge.  It's escorts clearing away the blockade.
Things are about to get intense.  Time for a quick bio-break and take pictures of other games.
Battleships laying down heavy fire on Omaha beach.

Americans about to land to assault the bunkers.

Napoleon's Grand Armee attacking the Prussians in the frozen winter. 

Flames of War Shermans trading shots along a hedgerow.
Turn 4:

 
Villainous knights charge around the blockade into the pikemen.
While a Giant emerges from the woods to lift the barricade.
Going largely unnoticed, a Dwarf Berserker is trying to catch up with the main body. The Squib charge the corners of the Dwarf block for a temporary 2-1 advantage.
 
Each unit rolls dice independentatly for movement.  I'm guessing the Berserker has made a number of poor rolls here.
The elephant just plods along.  But at least the crossbowmen in the howdah are now in range.

The Pikemen have stalled the evil knights charge.  What is that?  The portcullis is raised, and an organ gun appears.

The Dwarfs fight back but the squibs seem to have the upper hand.

The Organ Gun captain has to  make a choice.  The Pike seem to be holding well, so he orders it to wheel left to support the Dwarfs.

Which does not go well for the beleaguered axe-men.

The Red Demons have wrecked the Dwarf war machine, and are now looking for fresh meat.

The siege tower realizes it is not going to make it to the wall and divests it's troops.
Turn 5:

The organ gun crew reloads (artillery can only fire every other turn) As black knights are now gaining the upper hand against the pike.

Most of the spider riders are "racing" for the wall, as they can climb it easily.  But one decides to sample dwarf meat.

The Elephant almost clears the muddy road.
Turn 6:
The giant pushes the barricade aside.  The elephant surges on firmer ground.  One knight tramples a pikeman on the way to charging the organ gun.

The castle defenses, almost a dozen men with muskets, is loaded and ready.

The Green Knights charge, their goal to take down the tower.
 
We called the game here.  The objective was to get more evil troops in the castle than good troops.  That ratio currently is standing at 25 - zero.
  
On another table, ruined city landscape.

 
 
 
 
 

Sunday, March 15, 2026

PvP*

 *PvP: Persian verses Persian. Anyone under 40 would interpret that as Player verses Player.

A Headless Body Production
Venue: Wyndham Resort, née Lancaster Host
Event: Persian Era and friends, four camel maximum, Round 2
Players: Phil Gardocki running Achaemenid Persian list 64.
              Jeff Wiltrout running Achaemenid Persian list 64.
Game System: L'Art de la Guerre, 25mm, 200 points per side.

Cyrus II, Conqueror of Media, Lydia and Commagene, overcame many challenges before earning the moniker, "The Great." He fought on many battlefields from modern day Turkey to the river Indus.
 
Many of his great battles were deserving of the attentions of modern day historians.
 
This is not one of them. 

The Forces:
The Persians are commanded by Cyrus the Great, a Strategist. His sub commanders, supplied by city states now in ruin and lost to history are anonymously known as Darri, and Darri, Both are considered Competent for their time.
2 Persian Guards, Heavy Cavalry, Bow, Elite
4 Mede Cavalry, Medium Cavalry, Bow
2 Bactrians, Light Cavalry, Bow, Elite
4 Immortals, ½ Medium swordsmen ½ Bowmen, Elite
8 Sparabara, ½ Medium swordsmen ½ Bowmen 
1 Light Infantry, Bow
Breakpoint of 21
 
The Persians are commanded by Kurus, the Pretty Good, who was rated Brilliant by his peers. His sub commanders, identified by cuniforms engraved in fossilized tapioca, found next to a pile of flint beer bottles, are rated as Competent.  Arshaka, the Above Average and Arantas, the A OK, but somewhat unreliable.
1 Persian Guards, Heavy Cavalry, Bow, Elite
1 Persian Heavy Cavalry, Bow
4 Mede Cavalry, Medium Cavalry, Bow
2 Assyrian Chariots, Heavy Chariots, Elite
2 Scythian, Light Cavalry, Bow
3 Immorals, ½ Medium swordsmen ½ Bowmen, Elite
5 Sparabara, ½ Medium swordsmen ½ Bowmen 
2 Colchians, Light Infantry, Javelin
2 Scythed Chariots
Breakpoint of 22
 
A note on Persian organization. The term Sparabara refers to just a category of spear and shield soldiers. Hazārabam represents 1,000 warriors. Baivarabam is 10,000, but also means myriad. Which I'll use loosely to mean a group of Sparabara.

My Baivarabam are 2/3rds Sparabara and 1/3 Immortals.

Display Conventions: When you see a word bubble like "Ouch!" or some frowny face emoji, this implies a disorder from missiles. Letters in parenthesis represent some value change for the specific unit. For commanders it is s for strategist, b for Brilliant, c for Competent and o for Ordinary, u for unreliable. For troops it is e for Elite, and m for Mediocre. Other abbreviations, Hvy Heavy, XB Crossbow, LB, Longbow, Jav Javelin, 2HW 2 Handed Weapons, B Bow, Kn Knight, HKn Heavy Knight, HC Heavy Cavalry, Md Medium, Sgt Sergeants, LC Light Cavalry, Chr Chariot, Cat Cataphract, Pa Pavise, LI, Light Infantry, HG Hand Gun, FKn Foot Knight, Hvy Spear, Heavy Spearmen.

Inappropriately capitalized words are used to highlight terms that are specific to the game. For example Brilliant, Competent and Ordinary have specific game values for the commanders.

"XX" implies a unit killed in that location on that turn.

Any confusion between which unit did what, or even which side they are on, in the description is attributed as "fog of war", and to be considered part of the fun.

Deployment:

Arantas, the "A Ok", commands the Persian horse on the right flank.

Kurus, the "Pretty Good", takes the center with a Baivarabam of Sparabara, horse and chariots.

Arshaka, loosely translated as Wiggle Bottom, the "Above Average", takes the left flank with Assyrian chariots and another Baivarabam of Sparbara. 

Cyrus II, "Conqueror of... blah, blah", splits his Baivarabam two, in anticipation of a fast run around the flanks by Persian horse.

In the center, Persian horse expects to rush the Persian lines and harry them with arrows.

On the right, Darri hopes to make a run for high ground on the hill. If not, then his arrows will make anyone up there uncomfortable.

The view from the clouds.
 
Turn 1:

Arantas has one of those problems that can change your nick name.

So needs must, Kurus advances to cover for his weak bladdered cousin (twice removed and adopted).

Arshaka follows the plan, and begins to take the hill to use as a fire base to support his Assyrian chariots.

Cyrus II, "Conqueror of... blah, blah, blah", and Darri advance and loose arrows.
Taking 3 hits to one is not what I expected. That is what you get though when facing a nearly identical foe.

Darri's foot advance towards the hill. His hope to get there first is dashed. 

So on to plan 'B'.

Turn 2:

Arantas is locking in his "weak bladder" title. Kurus now has fewer command points to tidy up his lines.

As Arshaka's Baivarabam crosses the crest of the hill, he is met with a rude welcome.

With the Persian cavalry force immobilized, Cyrus's lines up his Baivarabam to engage in a massive archery duel.

Darri holds his horse to avoid being flanked from the hill. And you know, chariots...

He can afford to be patient, as the Persians on the hill are being decimated by Persian archery.
 
A little interlude here. For some pictures elsewhere in the con.

Rock Ridge, population: One less than the number of residents in the town of Harriet
IYKYK!
Wheredahakrwe tribe, of course camped just outside the fort of 'F' Troop.
IYKYK!
Classic Hollywood mobile defense fort...
Turn 3:
Arantas the "Weak Bladder", mounts his horse and heads out. Nearly catching an errant arrow.

Confident in his flanks now, Kurus the "Pretty Good", challenges the Persian horse arrayed against him.
But after this turns missile exchange, he is not as confident.
With enemy horse now active, Cyrus orders his Baivarabam back in the rough ground.

With the hill battle looking favorable, Darri's horse advances and looses arrows.
"Looses" is probably a bit of hyperbole here. Perhaps loses some arrows is more appropriate.
Darri orders an assault on the hill. Routing two opposing Hazārabam.

Turn 4:
At the top of the fourth, the score is 7 of 21.

to 11 of 22.

Arantas orders is disordered Scythians back to recover, another to swing wide aiming for the camp. His heavier horse barreling down on a convenient Hazārabam of Immortals.

In the center, Kurus releases his chariots.

On his left, Arshaka does his best to try to hold a corner of the hill.

The score is 8 (of 21)

to 13 of 22.

Under pressure and to avoid being surrounded, Cyrus splits his Baivarabam up into many parts.

Darri's horse returns and looses arrows to some effect.

Darri's foot clears the hill of all resistance.

The score is now, Persians 10...

To Persians 17.

Turn 5:
Arantas's horse runs down a Hazārabam of Immortals.
Kurus's finally has enough command points to order his Baivarabam forward to assault the field.
His scythed chariots charge! They are stopped by Mede horse.

Around the hill, Arshaka's mission is "containment"


In an attempt for just 5 more points, A lone Hazārabam tries to run down the Scythians.

With a major piece of luck, Arantas takes an arrow to the eye and is slain. +3 points there!

The threat of the scythed chariots is neutralized. The Assyrian chariots are surrounded.

Containment of Darri's Baivarabam has failed, they set up to attack from the hill.
 Turn 6:
The Persians (the good ones, not at all like those other ones) are at 17 of 21, and that is with 2 Hazārabam of Immortals. Just 4 away from demoralization. What is the score for the other Persians? I don't know. Since we are still playing so all I can say is "Not 22."

Persians put the pressure on Cyrus's Baivarabam from front and side.

Their horse flanking a Mede horse, routing it.

Arshaka orders his last horse to retreat from the hill. His Assyrians begins to take arrows.

The Persian score is now at 18 of 21!

Cyrus's archers find their marks! While his last Hazārabam of Immortals routs, they score 3 points against Persian horse.

The swirling battle in the center is inconclusive. Darri's horse literally take only one point of disorder, while causing one with Guards rear attacking Guards. 

But a salvo from the Sparabara from the hill disorders a Scythian for what seems to be the final point.



The final score is a tight 19 to 21. Cyrus the "Great" keeps his title.
 
That was a close game. Facing the same army, with a different design philosophy was interesting.

My army was all bow. Hoping for early hits to mitigate the hand to hand battles that would occur later. Jeff had 4 units, the chariots, designed to spearhead the attack. And had a lot of archery on the flanks.

I was very lucky though. With his cavalry command going unresponsive till turn 3. Because on that flank, my archery was largely ineffective for a couple of turns against fewer missile troops.

On my right, the initial arrow storm on the hilltop just set the tone for that flank. Outnumbered 6-4 with effective missile troops, and taking 3 hits on turn 2, made that flank unwinnable. And making the attack of the chariots in the center a dicey prospect.

My center force of horse was somewhat lackluster. Scoring next to nothing in the first few turns. And taking several hits. It wasn't until the scythed chariots were stopped that they began to accomplish much. And then, only a little. The bottom of the 6th had a Persian Guard hit the Persian Guard in the rear, and the result was 'meh."

This does seem to validate my over all strategy though. Defend, Coastal, Village, +2 terrains. Relying on the Strategist for a two adjustments.