An Epiphany of Epirus

A Headless Body Production

Venue: Eisenhower Hotel
Event: Cold Wars, 2025
Theme: Classic Age, 6 mounted maximum, Round 1
Players: Phil Gardocki running Pyrrhic, list 44
               Jim Tobin running Selucid
Game System: L'Art de la Guerre, 25mm, 200 points per side.
Font: Times New Roman

A suggested title, “Pompous Pyrrhic Parade: Proudly Pressing, Paying Price Past Purpose!”

Unfortunately, Google blogger just barfed on it...

The Forces

The pike taxis are commanded by Pyrrhus of house Aeacid, Toparch of Molossia and Epirus, a Strategist, and Agapitós, the Brilliant.  The Cavalry are commanded by Agapitós*, the Ordinary and Included.
2 Taxis of Hypaspist, Pike, Elite
5 Taxis of Pike
2 Mercenary Hoplites
8 Rhodians, Illyrians, Cretans. Various Light Infantry with bow, javelin or sling
2 Elephants
1 Xystophoroi, Heavy Cavalry, Elite
1 Greek Heavy Cavalry
2 Thracian Light Cavalry, Javelin
Breakpoint...23

Best guess on the Seleucids. 2 Brilliant and 1 Ordinary commanders.
2 Cataphracts, Elite
2 Elephants
2 Light Cavalry, Javelin
7 Medium Sword, various attributes
4 Pike, one elite
2 Imitation Legionaries, Heavy Swordsmen, Armor, Impact
8 Light Infantry, various attributes
1 Levy
Breakpoint...27

Pyrrhus is most famous because of his after action evaluation after his battle against the Romans near Asculum.

Plutarch quoted him as saying, "Αν νικήσουμε σε μια ακόμη μάχη με τους Ρωμαίους, θα καταστραφούμε εντελώς."

Which is Greek to me, and probably to you as well.

Wikipedia has the quote translated as, "If we are victorious in one more battle with the Romans, we shall be utterly ruined"

Display Conventions: When you see a word bubble like "Ouch!" or "Ωχ!", this implies a disorder from missiles. Letters in parenthesis represent some value change for the specific unit. For commanders it is s for strategist, b for Brilliant, c for Competent and o for Ordinary, u for unreliable. For troops it is e for Elite, and m for Mediocre. Other abbreviations, Hvy Heavy, XB Crossbow, LB, Longbow, Jav Javelin, 2HW 2 Handed Weapons, B Bow, Kn Knight, HKn Heavy Knight, HC Heavy Cavalry, Md Medium, Sgt Sergeants, LC Light Cavalry, Chr Chariot, Cat Cataphract, Pa Pavise, LI, Light Infantry, HG Hand Gun, FKn Foot Knight, Hvy Spear, Heavy Spearmen. I tend not to point out Light Infantry, as it clutters the pictures for no real value.

Inappropriately capitalized words are used to highlight terms that are specific to the game. For example Brilliant, Competent and Ordinary have specific game values for the commanders.

"XX" implies a unit killed in that location on that turn.

Any vagueness or inaccuracies in the descriptions is to be considered is to be considered Fog of War, and is part of the fun.

Walking into the lobby of the Eisenhower Hotel

This must be the place.

 

 

The Board:

Despite having an initiative advantage of 4 to 2 over the Seleucids, Pyrrhus loses the initiative and defend in the plains.

 

Initial lay out of the terrain.  Pyrrhus will be at the bottom.

 

After adjustments.

 

 

The Seleucids deployed their elephantry on their right.

 

 I forgot to bring ambush markers.  Jim allowed me to use poker chips in stead.

 

 

The Seleucids deployed their pike in the center, their left flank held by Thracians with cruel Falxs.

 

 

Across the elephantry, Agapitos with four troops of horse.

 

Agapitos deploys with 3 Taxis's of pike, an elephant, and a hoplite.

 

On review, I have the wrong commander identified in the picture.  In this list, Pyrrhus has 4 pike, Agapitós, just 3.

 

My thought for the hoplite is that it turns much easier than the pike to deal with flank attacks.

 

Pyrrhus takes the right with 4 Taxis's of pike, an elephant, and a hoplite.

 

Turn 1:

The Seleucid elephant command trundles forward.

 

 

The well trained phalanx trots on ahead of them.

 

 

Led by their eager recently hired Asiatic horsemen

 

 

Agapitós orders his lights forward.

 

Agapitós's lights advance into missile range, and are immediate pelted by clay balls the size of grapefruit 

 

 

 

Two of Pyrrhus's lights rise from hiding in the field.

 

 

 Turn 2:

Before things get serious, a time for a <ahem> camera break.  Going down the line of tables.  14 25mm players are in attendance.

Looks like another Seleucid v Roman.  Possibly Jay Stone v Jeff Herzog.  Game ended in a tie.

 

 

Alexandrian Macedonian v Warring States Chinese. George Deutsch v Tom Zimmerman. Game ended in a tie.

Hellenistic Greek v Warring States Chinese.  Mike Kennedy v Carl Stefanelli.  Ending in a victory for the Greeks.

Alexandrian Macedonian v Republican Roman.  Al Kaplan v Mike Kelley.  Ending in a victory for the Macedonians.

 

 

 

Republican Roman v Seleucid.  Steve Roper v Grumpy Cat.  A Seleucid victory.

Triumvirate Roman v Pyrrhic or Pyrrhus or Πυρρός.  John Doe v Dan Burgess,  A Roman victory.

I wasn't tracking the 15mm that day. 

Phil, you know you think everyone is getting the jokes, but they really are not..."

Back to the the Epiphany, as recorded by the official military observer from Howandaland**. 

 

I wish I could tell you the history of this figure, but I can't.  I didn't buy or paint him.  Nor do I have any set of figures related to Africans.    He just showed up one day in my box.

 

 

One elephant command trots towards Agapitós's light horse

 

The other replowing a nameless farmers field.  The Seleucid phalanx makes a stutter charge, causing the Pyrrhic lights to flee.

On the Seleucid left, the Seleucid horse decides to be aggressive.  Sneaking past the Pyrrik*** hoplites, and advancing their cataphracts.

 

 

One of the units traveling with the elephant is bow.  So Agapitós's lights decide to retreat out of range.

 

Agapitós rolls the dice on an unscreened elephant to a -1 shot.  And loses.

 

 

But Pyrrhus's hoplites and javelin armed light foot trap the Seleucid light horse.

 

 Turn 3:

The far right Seleucid bowmen find their range on the Agapitos's lights.

The Seleucids came to fight and throw their phalanx into the line of battle.

 

 

 

 

Their elephants nearly trample the hoplites.

 

While down the line, the Seleucid phalanx scores a series of victories.Winning 3, and getting an "Elephant Rampage" result on another Pyrrhic pike taxis.

 

 

The cataphracts approach to commit to battle.

 

 

Agapitós orders is disordered light to pull back to recover

 

Agapitós's phalanx is suffering badly.  But Pyrrhus's elephant charges and runs over a Thracian mercenary

The elephant is supported by two files of pike.  Who virtually trip and fall before the Thracian falx armed foot.

Bringing the score to 12 of 23 for Pyrrhus

To just 8 of 24 for the Seleucids

Turn 4:

The right most Seleucid elephant force keeps up the pressure.

Their pike forces flood through the Pyrrhic lines.

Note about all those 1's on the dice.  Each one represents Jim's command rolls.  Lots of 1's there.  5 in 6 rolls.  But his combat dice went largely the other way.

Agapitós lights put on a show.

Another taxis of Pyrrhic pike is routed.

Thracian Mercenaries defeat another pike taxis.

Taking the Pyrrhic score to 15

To just 8.

Agapitós leads his horse forward to challenge the Seleucid phalanx

Pyrrhus orders his elephants forward, where they catch and trample a slinger.

 

Turn 6:

A charger by elephantry sends Agapitós's horse off the map.

While in the center. the last of Agapitós's pike is flanked.  Pyrrhus's pike are also flanked and destroyed.

A Seleucid cataphract is routed. 

Taking the Pyrrhic score to 19 of 23

To the Seleucid score of 12.

Time is running out...

Agapitós last pike stands.

Pyrrhus's elephants charge the last, disordered, cataphract in the flank, and wiff the roll for nothing.

We called it here.  Partially to give me time to load in the results, but also, Jim was going to get at most 3 points (pike KIAand possibly, but not likely elephant KIA) in his turn, with me following up with as much as 5 (CAT, Thracians and Bowmen KIA) , neither with enough to win.  The final score was 19 of 23 to 12 of 27.

*Why Agapitós?  Agapitós  means "beloved", while Darryl means "Darling."  Close enough for government work.

** Howandaland is located anti-spinward of Ankh-Morpork, on the continent  of Klatch, Discworld.

*** Just how many ways can we mispell Pirhik?